But I'm not, because instead I have a fic to rec.
Black Ribbon by muffinbutt. Aziraphael/Crowley, NC-17.
If you've read Good Omens, read that fic. Don't argue. Just read. And not for the sex [even though that's good, too] but because Crowley, omg. She so fucking captured his voice and... yessss.
In fact, even if you haven't read Good Omens, read this fic, I don't care. It makes me happy.