Fandom: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Even though I wish I did... sigh.
A/N: Written for sky_was_green, who requested a prank!fic. The title is the one she gave me, and I tried to work it into my fic but...mostly failed. Oh well. Loosely beta'd by barbed_whispers. 1095 words! That's more than most of my fics, yo.
Summary: Prank!fic, in which Sirius regrets. A lot.
Sirius woke, gasping for breath. He had that dream again—the same one he’d had every night for the past two weeks, every night since the…incident. That’s what they were calling it now. Remus was barely talking to him, just a few murmured words here and there, and James wasn’t much better. Peter seemed to be caught in between, but in the end he was on James’ side, like always, which put him firmly on the other side.
Sirius was left without any friends, but that wasn’t what was bothering him.
He was left without Moony.
Everyone else was still asleep, so he climbed out of bed as quietly as possible and snuck off to the showers. He came back and dressed, so that he was out of the dorms before any of them woke up. It was better if he wasn’t around when they did—the icy tones in their voices still hurt, words floating through the air, thick with hurt, or fake-sounding niceties.
He watched Remus at breakfast, as discreetly as possible. He didn’t have any bandages on anymore, of course; Madame Pomfrey was too good at what she did for that. But he still looked haggard around the edges, like he was too worn out, straining himself too thin. He picked at his food, not eating anything, and kept his eyes downcast the whole time, while James tried to talk to him and they all ignored Sirius.
He didn’t bother to try and sit with Remus in class anymore. He knew better. Remus would probably let him, if he really tried, but the awkwardness between them was too much to handle and it made him want to implode; fade out and leave everyone without him, because it seemed it would be better that way. He took a seat near the front of the classroom, away from James and Peter as well. The next morning, he didn’t sit with them at breakfast, either.
It was hard, he decided. To go from having the best friends in the world to having no friends at all was very hard. But it was what he deserved, and he believed that, so he kept saying “Good morning” to everyone in the morning, but stopped trying to have conversations with Remus. James talked to him, off and on, but he took Remus’ side and nothing could be fixed between them until it was fixed between himself and Remus. He understood that, and tried to convince himself that he didn’t care. He would just have to get used to it, that was all.
It was a stupid mistake, really. It was the middle of the third week after when he started really thinking about it, and getting angry. Not angry at Remus, no never at Remus, but at himself. It was a stupid mistake, and he’d never really intended for anybody to get hurt. He didn’t care about Snape, but James was fine and Remus was still safe and so was his secret, and the only one suffering was him and he knew that he deserved it, but it just bloody hurt.
He watched Remus with his head down in the Great Hall, still barely eating, still looking miserable, every day. One look at the smaller boy was enough to prove that he did deserve this, a reminder that he couldn’t stop looking at, even if Remus never once looked back at him.
He didn’t break the silence stretching between him and his friends—he didn’t think he could. Or should. But James did, finally, as the third week came to a close.
“You need to talk to Moony,” James said angrily, catching him off guard in the dormitory when everyone else was out.
Sirius just shook his head and put his nose back into his Charms textbook. His marks had been improving in the past three weeks.
James snorted in disgust and took the book from Sirius, throwing it across the room. “Yes, you do,” he said, in a voice that didn’t allow Sirius any room to argue. “Ignoring this isn’t helping any of us. And dammit, I want my best friend back, and that can’t happen until you make up with Remus, so just bloody do it already. He misses you, too, you know.”
Sirius started. “He—he hates me now, James. How could he not?”
James snorted and shook his head. “You’re a bloody idiot. Just…stay here. I’ll keep Peter busy, and you’re bound to see Moony in here eventually.”
Sirius just sat on the bed, watching as James left. He felt like he couldn’t breathe; he was excited and terrified at once, and his hands clutched desperately into the sheets.
It didn’t take long for Remus to show up. He walked into the room, hesitating slightly when he saw that Sirius was alone.
“Hi…” Sirius said shyly, feeling more insecure than he ever had before.
“I just needed a book,” Remus told him, digging in his trunk. “I’ll be leaving.”
"Don’t…” Remus looked up, startled. “We could…” Sirius hesitated, not sure what to say. “We could talk.”
Remus ran a hand through his hair, looking anywhere but at Sirius. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please. I…I miss you.”
He looked shocked at that confession, at least. Sirius decided to take that and run with it. He stood up, moving closer to Remus. “I’ve wanted to talk to you so badly. I miss talking to everyone, but especially you. I’m so sorry, Moony, so sorry for what I did, but I miss you and I need you and…”
“Sirius,” Remus managed to choke out, cutting him off.
The dark haired boy just stared at him, waiting.
“I…” Remus sighed. “I’ve missed you, too,” he admitted finally, in a small whisper.
For the first time in three weeks, Sirius felt hopeful. “Really?” he asked, stepping closer still, so that they were almost touching. Remus nodded, and Sirius could feel the slight brush of his hair against his cheek. “Can I…”
He hesitated, not wanting to ask too much, if Remus wasn’t ready to go back to that so soon. But he must have read his mind, because when he stopped his question Remus—his Moony—leaned in and kissed him, gently and barely touching him.
Sirius groaned and threw his arms around Remus, burying his face in his shoulder. “Moony, Moony, Moony,” he chanted, over and over again, a few tears trickling down his face. Remus was holding him, as well, arms wrapped around his waist, and Sirius thought he could feel him smiling.